By Jamie Elizabeth Ho

As much as we’ve all been there and resented the feeling of being hung high and dry, the
beauty of dating is learning Life’s lessons from the Heart, because yes, the Heart does drop
knowledge too:

(a) How to deal with rejection
It may sound sappy as tree sap to you all, (and no doubt it really is) but there is someone
special for everyone. If the person is not into you and doesn’t want to be in a serious
relationship, that is their choice. Perhaps, they feel that someone else would be a better fit for
you, just as someone else would be a better fit for them. As personal as it is to go on dates
with someone and get to know them, whether they choose to continue wanting to get to know
you via talking, texting, meeting up for dinner dates, movie dates etc., or not, that shouldn’t be
taken personally.

But Why?
Easier said than done. Believe me, I know. Let’s take out the emotional drama and simplify this
to a more functional practical approach, take a step back and look at it like a job application.
Sometimes, we go for an interview and find out perhaps this is not the right fit for us. At the
end of it all, our potential employers wouldn’t take it personally, and neither would we. Bottom
line, it’s just simply because you were being True to yourself, what felt right for you and the
others involved.

If someone doesn’t feel the same way, have no fear, that just means there is room for a better
match to come along and fill that gap. If their heart is not in it, why would we want to invest
our time in an empty relationship?

(b) How to deal with the fact that we can’t control anyone but ourselves
We can control the way we act, what we think, how we feel, as well as how we respond and react to
some extent, but when it comes to other people that is beyond our control. Yes, it’s scary, but such is
the risk of love which is to love without any expectation. Every time, I find myself in a frustrated love
rut, I ask myself , ” Would I still give my time, love and effort to this person, EVEN IF this person
doesn’t love me back?”

If the answer is yes, then great.This means you operate from giving love without any
expectation. You don’t expect the person to fall deeply madly in love with you, because you
just want to honor the person by showing your admiration through feelings of love.

( c ) How to open our hearts up with courage at the risk of getting our hearts broken
This lesson is extremely difficult to learn, because us humans HATE being vulnerable. Despite
this, a good reminder is to bring us back to our center, our core truth which is that we can always choose.
Is it better to have loved then not to have loved at all? Love takes big risks, sometimes you fall sometimes
you don’t, but what’s important is that you know that the right person will show up
when the time comes. We learn what having faith means.

(d) How to love ourselves
Probably, the hardest lesson for most, when we experience situations such as these where the
person we are in love with, disappears or stops talking to us, we learn that it is in these
moments, we have no choice but to bring it back to loving ourselves.

So for those of you, who are beating up yourself for wasting time with the people you have
dated in the past, it’s not all that bad. At least, what you’ve extracted is valuable experience
for your personal growth, so when the time comes for The One to show up, you will be The One
for them.

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